We don't have cable anymore, so I really miss watching HGTV (though it was a HUGE time waster for me, so I know I'm better off). Anyway, I love the magazine, and every time a new edition popped into my mailbox, I would look through it and dream.
Dream about what color I could paint this piece of furniture, or how I could rearrange that shelf. I would earmark page after page and file ideas away for our future dream house.
But after the arrival of the last 2 issues, I found myself putting off looking at them. The covers were just as beautiful as always, just as intriguing. I couldn't put my finger on why I didn't get the same giddy feeling.
It's because I've been trying to be intentional about loving our "right now".
Sure, looking through it gave me great ideas, but what I found was that it was stealing my peace. My contentment with where we are and what our home looks like right now. The messy kitchen and the plethora of dust bunnies. Those shelves I just can't seem to keep organized and my "command center" covered in junk mail.
I'm working on those areas, but slowly and steadily. And my house will probably never fill the pages of a magazine, but the thought of this place fills my heart. It's where my husband proposed. It's where we ripped up rooms and rooms of 70s carpet. It's where my 2 boys came home from the hospital. It's where my big guy spins around and around, and where my little guy crawls, amidst the dust and dirt.
So I'm not renewing my subscription. Maybe if/when we actually get that dream house, I'll check it out again. But until then, I'm going to let my dreams live here.